Waiting in Cuxhaven

  Isbjorn and I arrived in Cuxhaven just a few days ago, being nudged, no, shoved along by the mighty Elbe river. I'm waiting for a good weather window – tide and wind behind us – to sail on towards Holland, stopping  at one of the Friesian islands or Hooksiel in Germany.

Some ideas about routing.

  The last few weeks have been hard for me. I haven't been able to shake the anxiety carried in with changes and uncertainty. On top of that, I've been sailing alone for the last week, for the first time in my life. Needless to say, there have been doubts. Doubts about everything; the boat, my choice to go sailing, money. We humans are such future trippers – we like to live in that mysterious and totally made up place, to worry about things completely out of our control.

  Living on a boat, sailing the world, can be lonely. I wonder why people never talk about that? Perhaps the feeling of accomplishment and the sense of purpose they get from doing it outweighs the loneliness for them. Feel free to share your thouhts in the comments below. A few nights ago, lying in bed, I realised why sailors are associated with brothels. Human connection and relationships are important to me, and when isolated for too long, I become depressed. I need to find a way to balance a life at sea with long-lasting, meaningful relationships.

  Then, this idea of purpose, calling, legacy, or whatever you would like to call it. I think it's just fine to travel and explore the world by sea or land for a certain period of time. However, when that exploration becomes aimless wondering, idle hands... I guess balancing all the parts of ourselves is the challenge we call life. Relationships, purpose, and the hardships and pain associated with going for our dreams is what I've been thinking about lately, so I thought I'd share that.

Epic 40 mile downwind sail from Nyord to Kragnæs last week.

  I plan to use this blog partly to document my journey, and partly to share some of my thoughts on sailing, life, human nature, and spaces. Yes, spaces. The spaces we live our lives in. Like a sailboat or the cafe I'm sitting in, writing this. Yes, I need their wifi, but more importantly, I need their space. The strangers that linger in and out, the 'Dankeschön.' They have made a space for me to exist, with the sun on my skin, in my little corner, next to the big bay window overlooking the street. I can be nobody, or I can be a regular. The choice is mine. I can disappear for hours, blending effortlessly in with the other faces in the cafe, or strike up conversation with the owner or one of the staff. I can get a dose of solitude and human connection, all for just 2,5 euros. Magical. A third place. Over the last few years, café's have been like a lifeline for me. I clip on whenever I need to. Being a regular is, for me, one of the greatest luxuries in life. Sitting down to my usual order without saying a word. Unfortunately, that comes only with time and consistency.

Morning Café views.